Both girls went down just before 8 and it’s now 9:15 and I’m sitting at the top of the steps. They have a chance habit of stirring at the same. Even throughout the night I laugh saying “I move, you move, we both move”.
Tonight at first it was Gemma my older daughter who just was not settling down and kicking her foot to the back of her crib while wiggling around. Tyler had put her down since I went out to feed the baby to get her down. He mist of just not been enough tonight. After going up doing a little singing and some rocking I put her down and she was out in 5 minutes.
At that point I heard our youngest daughter Addison. Which mid way through writing this woke up for a 3rd time which now puts this post at 10 after holding her and feeding her again.
However, the picture below of sitting on the step was my whole point to writing tonight. I sit on these steps, they are not perfect by any means. Our farmhouse is a work in progress and like I always tell my best friend by the time we do get done we will just end up starting over because styles will of changed.
These imperfect steps on our farm stress me out every time I have ever sat and listened for my baby and now babies. We are all often so hard on ourselves we instantly start thinking about the negative end of the steps aren’t finished, I’m behind on dishes, the laundry.
We don’t even notice the missing banister, the painting we never finished, the unfinished edge of the balusters, or the giant cut my FIL had made that was covered that we uncovered to get a bed down and decided to replace but haven’t. Then I sit on these steps listening for my babies and I stress.
I forget that we were blessed with two beautiful baby girls who are the reason projects are behind, stopped, or not important. These little imperfections are so unimportant that normal ok I don’t ever notice them. It’s a reminder to not be so hard on myself because time with these two beautiful girls are worth every second!
In Silos View 